Hell, talk about bonding! Identity? We had it. We were brothers. We were still fucked-up, but no one had to know. We were members of a fraternity, and we didn't even have to rush. Two very distinct events occurred. One was evident to all of us immediately. WE WERE COOL - OUTWARDLY. We were Team, without sport (although there was a disastrous touch football game against the juniors). We didn't need general acceptance. We had it in one another. NO chick could put us down. In fact, many of the female species of our class were more than slightly intimidated by us. We could - and did - strut! The second event was subtle. We felt secure within our group. In small clusters, usually one-on-one as the last 2 standing or slurring their speech quietly as the case might be, we began to share some of our fears and insecurities. It was a sharing that it took me years to realize had happened or how much value it had contributed.

In fairly short order the group began to expand. This was the result of a variety of reasons, not the least of which was that even with girl friends, it was tough for the 6 of us to finish off a 35-liter keg of beer (about the minimum size). Really however, we did not have a monopoly on the "cool" people. While all Mother Bears were cool, not all cool people were Mother Bears. (See, the Logic Course did have its merits.) Well we increased our ranks.

It was basically because we discovered that we were not alone. There were others that, while not identical, were experiencing the same levels of disassociation and disorientation. As if by centrifugal force or some other form of crude social magnetism we wound up together. Of course these new "members" required an initiation. The senior members of the "motherhood" (the initial 6) after long and arduous study and pensive thought devised an appropriate initiation process.

In this elaborate and delicate fashion the ranks expanded. First was a Brit, Andy Corbet. Then we added an Indian (Jal), an Arab (Raad), a Turk (Cengiz), a Swiss-Canadian (Alec - who also had a killer party house overlooking Lake Geneva and the Ski Nautique rafts, but again another story), a Polish-Brit (another Steve, Berent) and even more Americans (another Miller, Barry - who, after having his filled garbage cans thrown down his driveway for a suitable period of time asked to join in the fun, since he had to clean it up anyway) - we were ethnically blind. We were not elitest. We just wanted to belong, and the major criterion was FUN! This crossed all ethnic and social boundaries.

While much joking was ever-present of backgrounds, State or ethnic origin (usually most critical by those from a given State of ethnic background), it was without prejudice. In fact, we were remarkably free of bias. We were against everyone, particularly authority and conformity. (We could also curse in several different languages to complement our insults.) However, the cross-cultural nature of the group also led to recognition that we were all the same in so many of the important ways - inside, that it provided a valuable learning experience.

Ultimately the formality of the process gave way to a less formal association and the "initiation" ultimately ceased to hold as much value, both for the initiated and the initiators. The label passed into history as the group migrated, people leaving for college, staying, returning, flunking-out, or whatever. The constant was the insecurity within our selves that craved belonging. (We even had a flag made from a stolen Mercedes Benz banner that used just the "m" and "b" with the great work of some Swiss seamstress, couturier, who provided the necessary labor. This flag was raised on one of the poles at the outside viewing terrace at the Aeroport de Geneve whenever someone departed. I cried until well after take-off the day I left.)

However, we still knew each other from the earlier days before our classmates had chosen to label us. We found solace in each other, yet basically knew, within ourselves that Langston's idiom was inadequate to overcome the anxieties that we were all living though. I don't believe that any of us recognized this latter issue until much, much later. Maybe that is why these friendships formed so far back still hold such predominance in our minds.

Some of us still see one another - and many still count each other as the closest friends. Some have drifted away as our lives have taken different turns. Some vanished immediately, following Graduation. Some died prematurely. But, I'm sure none of us forgets the strength gained by numbers of equally anxious, lost and insecure young men. And I doubt that any of us that hear the ubiquitous phase; "Mother-Fucker", don't stop for a split second and think; "Mother Bear"!